Couple of things I have noticed recently on Facebook that is bugging the hell out of me and I would like to rant to get it off my chest!!!
I am a part of some “support groups” for specific medical conditions that I have, however people in these groups define support in a totally different way than I do and the way Webster defines it! So that being said, here is Webster’s definition of support:
1: to endure bravely or quietly: bear
2: a (1): to promote the interests or cause of
(2): to uphold or defend as valid or right :advocate <supports fair play>
(3) : to argue or vote for <supported the motion to lower taxes>
(2) : to act with (a star actor)
(3) : to bid in bridge so as to show support for
c : to provide with substantiation : corroborate <support an alibi>
3: a : to pay the costs of : maintain <support a family>
b : to provide a basis for the existence or subsistence of <the island could probably support three — A. B. C. Whipple> <support a habit>
4: a : to hold up or serve as a foundation or prop for
b : to maintain (a price) at a desired level by purchases or loans; also : to maintain the price of by purchases or loans
5: to keep from fainting, yielding, or losing courage: comfort
6: to keep (something) going
And the definition of support group:
a group of people with common experiences and concerns who provide emotional and moral support for one another
Obviously telling them the facts, stating the truth, and NOT enabling them to concentrate ONLY on their disability is not support. According to certain people that is bullying, which I TOALLY 100% DISAGREE!!! Now how does Webster define bullying? Guess we need a definition! So here it is:
1: archaic a : sweetheart b : a fine chap
2: a : a blustering browbeating person; especially : one habitually cruel to others who are weaker b : pimp
3: a hired ruffian
Now that we have all of that defined, can someone please tell me how these people in some of these groups throw these terms around when they actually do not know the definition and I am assuming have never really looked them up!!!
In these groups you see a few of us tell it like it is. We don’t sugar coat things, we don’t enable people to continue to whine and cry all the time about how “hard” it is to have SB, and we don’t coddle them either. This is because the real world will not do those things for them and we never had those things done to us and we turned out very well adjusted; socially, educationally, mentally, etc. We want those same things for these young adults growing up today. We want them to succeed and become better people, not just for themselves, but for their communities. However, if you tell them to knock it off or tell them how to handle situations they may find themselves in, we get referred to as the bullies. Now we aren’t being mean intentionally, we really aren’t being mean or malicious at all, yet we are bullies because we do not enable this type of behavior. Yes having SB does suck sometimes, just like I am sure being “normal” sucks too. Yet, it is not the end of the world and you can be independent and take charge of your own life if you would stop dwelling on your disability and concentrate more on your abilities! How is this being cruel? It isn’t! I find this term “bully” being used way to often in situations where others are just grasping for straws. Leave this word, this term, to those situations where someone is truly a bully, where they don’t care about you and perceive you are weak. The only one whom determines if you are weak or not is yourself!
So to continue, you have the pictures in these feeds. Not to piss anyone off, honestly I don’t really care if anyone gets offended, but if you are posting pictures of your completely disgusting and so infected sores/wounds that you need to be at the wound care clinic and even then they’d probably admit you to the hospital, PLEASE put a warning on your initial post to proceed with caution. Then if you must post the picture, out of respect for others in the group, post the picture in the comments. Even then that makes me want to psychoanalyze you and your need to be posting the pictures in the first place!!! Is it for attention? Is it for sympathy? Are you trying to prove something? Why, just why????
Then comes the parents!!! Holy Mother of all that is good!!!! Now they do all that has been mentioned above and even more but they use their child! Their child who has yet to learn of social media, has no voice as to what is being said or shown of their selves, and who are totally innocent yet sometimes is used as a pawn to gain something from total strangers! Now I understand that having a child with a disability is hard, I do understand. However it is not only hard on the parent’s, it is hard on the siblings, the family as a unit and most importantly, it is hard on the child. That is just it though, nobody said parenting was easy! I just don’t understand how you can bitch about how inconvenient it is to take care of your child’s medical needs because it does not fit into YOUR schedule! Every parent has to change their child’s diaper and feed them – that is what parent’s do!!
Yet again, posting pictures! Why must you post pictures of your child’s sores or other things so that strangers can see how “hard” it is to take care of your child especially when you have a nurse in your home almost full-time! I don’t get this!! My mother took care of three kids, went to college full-time while my dad was working and gone pretty much the entire week, and STILL was able to look after my medical care along with my siblings and their childhood needs! She did all of that without the help of a nurse or extra set of hands. Thank goodness because she taught me how to be independent, how to handle my medical needs by myself, and how to understand that even though I may have a disability, I had more abilities!!!!
Why do must people do these things? I am glad I didn’t grow up with my face and all my scares thrown up on social media. I think if I had, I would have never been able to speak out about SB in the manner that I do now. I think I would have been even more self-conscious and probably would have withdrawn during my teenage years and possibly I would have never gone to college. I would probably have feared that someone would find those pictures of me on social media and use it against me like cruel kids do these days. I would have been mortified! I also probably would have not dated and I am stepping out on a ledge here but I don’t know if I would have even thought about getting married.
My question to y’all is this, what is your opinion on these topics? Have you ever experienced anything like what was mentioned above, good or bad? What do you think will help these young people growing up with disABILITIES? Leave a comment for me!!!!
Shuffle on my friends!!!!!